How am I supposed to get famous like this?!

I have a serious question, which you can see above, but I would seriously like to ask it again. I want to drill it into your head. I want to drill this question into the people's head who aren't reading my blog.

I've had about 81 82 (I previewed this to see if it looked good, by the time its up it'll be 83) views by now, yes? Most of them from me, from the many times I've edited my template and taken a look to make sure it looked right. I have one follower (love you Emma!), and two followers on twitter as of now. One of which is one of my personal friends.

How am I supposed to get a bajillion followers? How are people supposed to read what I have to say if it can't get out there at all? If people are reading this, why aren't they commenting? At least comment. If I'm not awesome to you, don't follow, but please comment?

I'm a freak. I have actually GOOGLED HOW TO get your blog read a lot. Nothing helped. It said things like post a lot, or just be yourself. What really makes me laugh is when they say things like use lists. What?! How the hell is a LIST gonna help me get readers! "Oh, looks like she made a list. Follow." No. That's not realistic.

But really - HOW?! I'm a modest person, but what I have to say is VERY INTERESTING, OKAY?!

I don't get it. How am I supposed to get readers and followers if no one even looks at all. This is just sad.