I have a horrible habit of letting people push me around. Its even worse when these people are my "friends". My mother has told me repeatedly that I need to hang out with more different people. Its not like my best friend is a bad person and does bad things... I just depend on her too much. I'm a very depending person. Thats my problem.
So right now, as I type this I am being text-yelled at by my "best friend" who had fallen asleep last night when she had known that my parents had wanted her to pick me up after work. Why she would go to bed when she knew she had to pick me up in two hours, I don't know. But the thing that upsets me most is how important guys are to her. Its happened more than once, and this is what bothers me: every time a guy comes into her life, he is her whole life, like she spends almost every waking moment even with him, or talking to him, or talking about him. I have learned balance, but it seems she has not.
Why do girls do this? Why are boys so freeking important? If you don't talk to him for 15 minutes is he just gonna break up with you? No. Probably not. And it kills me that this is actually why I'm upset with my best friend right now, because it is such a lame topic. Its so misunderstood and you only understand when its not happening to you. To any girl (such as my "best friend") it is just a relationship, and nothing out of the ordinary happens until someone says something. SO I'M SAYING SOMETHING, ASHLEY.
What worries me about this is that I have the feeling it will be like this as long as she and I know each other. We have already told each other we wanted each other to be our maid of honors' at our weddings. What if this happens with the guy she's going to marry? What am I supposed to say as the maid of honor? You freeking stole my best friend. F*%$ you. Will I even want to be her maid of honor? In that situation (if its anything like the situation right now) probably not. Thats right, I said it.
Now as Im reading my text messages, it looks like she is forcing me into an apology, after she was the one who didn't pick me up.
And I know that I once said I want to focus on positiveness, but I know what is deserved for something that is done wrong. So you know whats the best in these situations? Freeking bitchy apologies.